Starrcade 1989 with KB | WrestleZone Forums

Publish date: 2024-05-07
Starrcade 1989
Date: December 13, 1989
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette, Terry Funk

Ok so this is another of those concept shows. Instead of using this show for a big match or something, we get two tournaments in one night, both following the same formula. They’re called Iron Man Tournaments and there’s a tag and singles version. There are four competitors in each (Sting, Luger, Muta, Flair and Road Warriors, Steiners, New Wild Samoans, Doom) and it’s a round robin, meaning everyone faces everyone once.

20 points for a pin/submission, 15 for a countout win, 10 for a DQ win, 5 for a time limit draw (all matches are 15 minutes) and 0 for a loss. Most combined points wins the respective tournament. Not a title shot mind you (Flair and the Steiners are champion) but just the tournament. And this is the biggest show of the year remember? Let’s get to it.

This show is called Future Shock which means nothing but the opening video looks like a computer screen as a result.

Ross will be on commentary throughout the night while Funk will only be on singles matches and Cornette only on tag matches.

Doom vs. Steiner Brothers

The set is huge at least which is an old school WCW specialty. This is still in the old school dark arena thing. The Skyscrapers were supposed to be in this but Sid Vicious is injured and the Samoans are taking their place. Doom is Ron Simmons/Butch Reed in masks and have Woman and their bodyguard Nitron (Tyler Mane, more famous as Sabretooth from the X-Men movies) with them.

They’re called Doom 1 and 2 here and it’s 1 (Simmons) vs. Scott to start us off. The arena is maybe half full at this point and they don’t even have them all on the non-camera side so it looks embarrassing. Off to Rick as it’s all Steiners so far. Belly to belly sends Simmons flying and Reed doesn’t do much better. Reed in legally now and he’s trying but in the late 80s the Steiners simply did not lose.

Back off to Scott as this isn’t an incredibly interesting match so far. Oh and there is literally nothing on this show other than Iron Man matches. The announcers actually talk about the fans not being here yet. This is rather pathetic. Cornette says they’re buying Midnight Express stuff. This is a pretty sloppy match actually. Reed vs. Scotty and Scott can’t quite suplex him so he settles for an atomic drop instead. Scott goes to the floor and Nitron hammers away.

Back off to Simmons who hits a pretty sweet powerslam for two. More double teaming on the floor by Nitron. Nick Patrick’s hair is rather frightening here. Big old double backdrop puts Scott down and Rick comes in out of anger. Spinebuster gets two as we mess with the clock a bit again. Scott is sent to the floor again but there’s no referee to count his cover off a reversed suplex.

Belly to belly hits with three minutes left but Scott can’t tag. Actually he can with two minutes left (maybe 20 seconds after the three minute announcement) and he cleans house. They fight to the floor and Rick dives back in just in time for the countout win and 15 points. Cheap ending to say the least and the clock was all over the place.

Rating: D+. Weak opener here as no one particularly cared about these two. Doom were just big power guys and hadn’t meant anything yet at all. The Steiners or the Road Warriors were going to win here no matter what you did and that’s all there was to it. They would have been better off having some big epic match, but instead they have the second shortest tag match of the night. Nothing of note here and a stupid ending.

Steiners – 15 (One match)
Doom – 0 (One match)
Road Warriors – 0 (No Matches)
Samoans – 0 (No Matches)

Sting vs. Lex Luger

Lex is US Champion which he would be for like ever. They’re not wasting any time here at all and it’s kind of nice to see. Lex stalls like the true heel that he is. He tries to run but here’s Sting to drill him upside the head and take us back into the ring. In a rather impressive sequence, Sting misses a splash on the ropes and goes over, hanging on and hitting a running clothesline before a slingshot splash gets two. That took less than ten seconds.

A few more clotheslines and Luger is down on the floor again. Things go a bit better for Luger on the floor as we’re allegedly five minutes in. More like three but whatever. Luger gets in some shots but back in a top rope cross body gets two for the guy with the facepaint. There’s an armbar by Sting and Luger is in trouble. For some reason that gets broken up. Odd refereeing move but whatever.

Sting grabs a wristlock and in a funny bit Luger says no and Sting shouts down at him YES. Dropkick puts Luger down again for two and Sting goes up again, only to get caught in mid air and Lex hits an atomic drop to take him down. Another atomic drop hits as we either have the best clipping I’ve ever seen or they’re lying on the clock. Luger kicks him to the floor and sends Sting into the railing.

Back inside and Lex gets a double axe off the middle rope for two. This clock thing is getting really annoying as I’m trying to find a clipped moment in the whole match and it’s not there. Granted Patrick is calling how much time they have left LOUDLY and it’s different from what the ring announcer is saying so who knows?

Powerslam puts Sting down but he doesn’t cover. Rack is countered and Sting starts Stinging Up. They botch something BADLY as Sting is looking for a splash on the ropes but gets a running choke instead. Luger hits the floor with a minute left and on the way back in, Lex falls on top and grabs the rope for the cheap pin.

Rating: C-. We’re rapidly seeing the flaws in this show: these matches aren’t anywhere near fifteen minutes as a match that would have been about 14 and a half minutes here is crunched down into about 11. For the life of me I can’t find any clipping in there and with the clock being all insane I think it’s them messing with it rather than me. Nothing of note here but old school Sting is always worth seeing.

Luger – 20 (One match)
Sting – 0 (One match)
Flair – 0 (No matches)
Muta – 0 (No matches)

Road Warriors vs. Doom

This isn’t really fair to Doom. Not the time thing, but having to face the Road Warriors in this era. That’s torture to anyone. No entrances for either team to cut off even more time. Animal vs. Reed to start us off. Animal does what he can but the same styles is something that can cause a lot of problems as it’s going to here. Hawk comes in as they work on the arm a bit.

Hawk, at least crank on the arm a bit rather than just standing there. It can’t be that hard. Things speed up a bit as Hawk cleans house. And never mind as it’s time for him to play face in peril. Typically it was Animal taking the beatdown before we go off to Hawk for the big save but not the case here I guess. This is another one of those matches where stuff is going on but nothing is happening if that makes sense.

Finally we get somewhere on a reversed slam of all things and it’s off to Animal to clean house. Powerslam hits for two and everything breaks down rather quickly. Powerbomb is broken up by a top rope clothesline by Hawk which is good enough for the pin, despite it being the wrong Doom guy.

Rating: D. Another bad match here as the whole power vs. power thing is really getting old. We can also see the problem with tournaments coming again: we’ve seen Doom already once tonight and therefore we’ve already seen some of their stuff. Why would I want to see the same stuff being used on different people? Nothing of note here with the Road Warriors just doing their thing.

Road Warriors – 20 (One match)
Steiners – 15 (One match)
Samoans – 0 (Zero matches)
Doom – 0 (Two matches)

Great Muta vs. Ric Flair

Muta is the undefeated TV Champion here. Flair is flanked by the Brothers Anderson here and is only a six time champ. Muta fires off a ton of shots, hitting the handspring elbow quickly. They chop it out and there’s the knee crusher maybe a minute in. Figure Four is on in the middle of the ring and here are Buzz Sawyer and the Dragonmaster, Muta’s stable mates, for the save. The Andersons cut them off and it’s a big brawl. Muta somehow breaks the hold but the moonsault gets knees. Small package by Flair and we’re done in less than 90 seconds. That’s Muta’s first singles loss.

Flair – 20 (One match)
Luger – 20 (One match)
Sting – 0 (One match)
Muta – 0 (One match)

Steiner Brothers vs. Road Warriors

And here it is. This is the ONLY reason to watch this show. It is the only tag match between these two teams (other than a one off match on Nitro in 96 but by that point the Warriors meant nothing) that ever meant anything. For the life of me I don’t get why, as this could have arguably been the main event of a PPV. No idea why this was never done but here it is.

Hawk and Scott start us off as Cornette call them both stupid. Hawk gets an enziguri to take him down but Scott is like screw that and brings in Rick. BIG clothesline by Hawk gets two. Rick goes into “anything you can do I can do harder” mode and takes Animal down with a hard clothesline of his own. This has the big epic feel to it like they’re not sure what to do out there out of fear of making a mistake.

Steiner overpowers Animal on a suplex for two. That was kind of surprising. Hawk vs. Scott again and there’s the gorilla press from Hawk. Everyone keeps breaking counts up out of fear/respect which is a cool thing to see. Ross says this won’t go fifteen minutes. Being the booker/writer helps when you make those predictions.

Off to Animal now as it’s claimed that we’re five minutes in despite it being closer to four but whatever. Hawk KILLS Scott with a clothesline out of the corner and Scott has no idea where he is. Backbreaker by Hawk sets up a gutwrench suplex for two. Scott totally messes up a middle rope belly to belly, making it almost a Downward Spiral but with a slight bit of rotation to it. Hawk is lucky he didn’t break something on that.

Animal comes in and throws on a bearhug as you can tell the Warriors are starting to get tired after two matches already. Scott doesn’t tag out so Rick has to break up a pin by just pulling Animal off. Back to Hawk who looks exhausted. He snaps off a powerslam though so maybe I’m wrong. Everything breaks down and the Warriors do a weird version of the Doomsday Device with a belly to back suplex instead of on the shoulders. It’s to set up the ending though as they do the suplex with one guy raising a shoulder first, this time Scott, to have the Road Warriors get pinned.

Rating: C. It’s the Road Warriors vs. the Steiners. How in the world could I give this match a bad grade? It really is just average though as both teams were feeling a bit tired. Also with less than eight minutes, how good of a match could they really get out of it? They tried though and it certainly isn’t all that bad. We’ll go with right in the middle.

Steiners – 35 (Two matches)
Road Warriors – 20 (Two matches)
Samoans – 0 (Zero matches)
Doom – 0 (Two matches)

Sting vs. Great Muta

These two wrestled about a million times and this is on the Essential Starrcade DVD. Muta rips off a kick but Sting avoids it. He grabs a full nelson and Sting breaks it pretty easily before grabbing one of his own. Funk pronounces Muta as Moo-Tuh. Muta hammers away and we hit the mat with a headlock. Pretty fast paced stuff here with Sting hooking a suplex for two.

Off to a wristlock by Sting who tries for the Scorpion out of nowhere. Muta bails to the floor with his underrated manager Gary Hart. Sting goes down again and Muta busts out Cattle Mutilation of all things and Sting is in big trouble. In a pretty awesome display of strength Sting breaks free of it and hammers away with “American” right hands. We crank it up a bit and there’s a gorilla press.

It only gets two though and a big elbow hits for two as well. Off to the chinlock as I guess Sting is starting to run tired. The referee clearly says seven minutes gone as he’s been LOUD tonight. Muta hammers away in the corner and a backbreaker sets up the second missed moonsault of the night. Muta lands on his feet though and kicks Sting’s head off. He goes up again but Sting crotches him and a superplex gives Sting a win.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid match overall but when you compare it to some of their classics it’s hard to get fired up off this one. Definitely not bad but there wasn’t much going on. Sting was getting tired and Muta apparently isn’t allowed to even hit his big move on this show. They had far better ones though, so go watch those.

Flair – 20 (One match)
Sting – 20 (Two matches)
Luger – 20 (One match)
Muta – 0 (Two matches)

We bring in Cornette and Funk to run down everything we’ve seen so far.

Wild Samoans vs. Doom

Thankfully this is the last match for Doom tonight. The Samoans here are Samoan Savage aka Tama and Fatu aka Rikishi. You can never tell who is who in Samoan world. Doom is all but mathematically eliminated here so they’re just spoilers. Norman the Lunatic is here in a Santa suit for no apparent reason. The Samoans are in the full on grass skirts here and have the Big Kahuna (Oliver Humperdink) with them.

Tama vs. Reed to start. Oh dear I don’t want to watch this. It’s another power vs. power match with Doom having no particular character to speak of other than they’re big, black and strong. The Samoans are.well they’re Samoans. Picture any pair of Samoan savages over the years and there you are. Double tag and still not much of note. Powerslam gets two for Doom.

With Doom not going to win and the concept of the Samoans beating both the Road Warriors and the Steiners being laughable, no one cares about this match. Granted that might be due to this crowd sucking badly and no one wanting to watch the same team for a third time in one night. Out to the floor with Simmons beating on Tama. Back in and the Samoan gets a sunset flip for two on Reed.

Cornette talks about how the Samoan didn’t know how to use a sunset flip properly. There’s something funny about imagining a Samoan in a wrestling class. Double teaming keeps Tama in as he really doesn’t seem to be someone you want taking a beating for that long. Hot tag brings in Fatu as I guess the Samoans are the faces? Everything breaks down and Fatu collides with Reed so the Samoan can fall on top to get the pin and shut Doom out.

Rating: D. What is with the lack of definitive endings tonight??? We’ve done the cheap finish, the both guys are out finish, the double suplex finish, the countouts, cheating etc. Sting beat Muta clean and that’s about it. Either way this was junk and Doom would thankfully turn into total monsters in 1990 and have the longest tag title reign in company history.

Steiners – 35 (Two matches)
Road Warriors – 20 (Two matches)
Samoans – 20 (One matches)
Doom – 0 (Three matches)

Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair

These two feuded for what felt like eternity and it probably wasn’t much shorter than that. US vs. World title here. Luger’s music is so painfully generic that vanilla ice cream with water on the side would look at it and say “yo that’s generic.” These two have wrestled each other so many times that they can more or less have a good match in their sleep. Flair stalls a lot and rightly so as every time he comes near Lex he gets tossed around.

Back in this era Flair wouldn’t do much to the knee for the first good bit of the match as he was able to do a lot more than just that. Nowadays he chops, punches and goes for the knee. Luger and Flair look rather fresh compared to Sting and Muta from earlier. Lex as a heel is rather different as he doesn’t play to the crowd and doesn’t have any speed at all. Not saying it’s a bad thing but it’s rather different. Flair as a face and Luger as a heel is just weird to see.

Luger sends him into the corner as it’s been almost all Total Package here. Flair looks like he got hit by a truck recently. Clothesline takes him down as we have five minutes remaining. Yeah that wasn’t ten minutes. Flair gets a hard chop but can’t really do anything after that. He’s done little more than chop so far but to be fair it was hard to beat Luger at this point no matter who you were.

Flair bails to the floor and Lex manages what can best be called as a Stunner as Flair tries to get back in. Four minutes left. There has to be a draw in this show somewhere. Out of nowhere Flair counters a suplex into one of his own but Flair is spent. Backslide gets two and they slug it out. Flair goes up and gets clotheslined on the way down for two. Two minutes left. Sunset flip by Flair gets two. There are two empty seats in about the 8th row. One minute left as Flair goes up and you know how that goes. Elbow misses for Luger and there’s the Figure Four but times is up and it’s a draw.

Rating: C+. These two of course are pretty good together but they’re a match that needs about half an hour to really get something going. Not a bad match or anything but compared to their war the year prior to this, this match is pretty weak. The problem again here is that the guys are getting really repetitive but at least we’re getting close to this being over.

Flair – 25 (Two matches)
Sting – 20 (Two matches)
Luger – 25 (Two matches)
Muta – 0 (Two matches)

Wild Samoans vs. Steiner Brothers

And we have over an hour left in this show. For the love of all things good and holy who thought this was a good idea? Seriously, you’re a major wrestling company and you have a total of 12 people wrestling on this show. In other words with 12 matches, it’s like you have a single person per match. Also since you know both tournaments are coming down to the final match of each there’s little point to caring here.

Standard Steiners match here as Scott starts with Fatu. The Steiners do their usual throwing around of whoever they face, much like they did in the other two matches tonight. This is exactly what you would expect (shocking I know) as the Samoans have more energy than the Steiners and therefore the beating on them works a lot better than it usually would as this would usually be a squash.

Scott beats on some Samoans, Rick beats on some Samoans, the Samoans beat on the Steiners a bit, and there has to be a really bad video game concept in there somewhere. Scott finally plays Ricky Morton for awhile as the Samoans clean his clock pretty solidly. His foot is on the ropes to prevent a pin so Fatu just grabs his foot to cover him again. Smart for a savage. The referee misses Scotty being thrown over the top and Rick is furious.

Sunset flip doesn’t work for Scott who has been in there for a very long time now. Also it’s his third match so he has to be tired. Bearhug goes on because that’s exactly what this match needed right here: more boring stuff. He actually gets two with that bearhug. Rick keeps teasing coming in and it’s back to the bearhug again. Scott fights out of it and takes a powerslam with two minutes left. The referee misses a bad backslide so Scott settles for a Frankensteiner instead but can’t cover. The referee misses the tag so Rick comes in anyway and in the brawl Scott tosses Fatu over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D. FREAKING END THIS ALREADY. I mean seriously, no one cares at this point. Also, why in the world can we not get a freaking clean ending on this stupid show? The match was standard fare but when you have the same match over and over again there’s nothing at all to see here. At least there’s only one tag match left.

Steiners – 35 (Three matches)
Samoans – 30 (Two matches)
Road Warriors – 20 (Two matches)
Doom – 0 (Three matches)

Lex Luger vs. Great Muta

Luger’s knee is still all messed up after Flair worked it over earlier. Luger tries to fight Muta off for a bit but a single shot to the knee is exactly what Muta needs to take over. Muta works the knee and adds in the handspring elbow again. Luger does what he can but his knee is shot. Muta is kicking the knee a lot but each one slows Luger down more every time.

Half crab eats up some time and there’s the bridging Indian Deathlock which gets a BIG pop. Luger is reeling quickly but realizes he’s about an inch from the ropes and gets it easily. Hey let’s look at the scoreboard for awhile because the wrestling is boring for the most part right? More kicks to the knee as you can tell everyone is all tired.

The crowd isn’t exactly burned out as they were never hot in the first place. They just don’t care because there’s really nothing to care for. Muta gets a big superkick and down goes Luger again. Gorgeous dropkick puts Luger down again. Luger starts a comeback but can only do quick bursts of offense due to the knee. Ross points out that you need to be a mathematician to figure out the winning scenarios which is one of the major problems with this show. Muta gets a sunset flip for two. The Rack is blocked the Asian Mist is good for a DQ to mean Muta wins nothing all night. Luger sells it like he got shot dead.

Rating: C. Match was just ok but it was your standard leg injury match. The problem here is that other than with the DQ ending, Luger would have the title secured completely so they couldn’t do a real finish. Add that to the list of issues with this show. Luger and Muta are done for the night so it’s down to two matches left, thank goodness. Arn would get the TV Title very soon and Muta would go back to Japan for the most part.

Luger – 35 (Three matches)
Flair – 25 (Two matches)
Sting – 20 (Two matches)
Muta – 0 (Three matches)

Road Warriors vs. Wild Samoans

With a time limit draw the Samoans and Steiners tie. Road Warriors win outright with a pin/submission. Samoans win outright with any form of a win. Animal and Fatu start. It’s clear everyone is totally spent here so this probably won’t go long at all. Off to Hawk as Animal is in search of an oxygen tank. Tama comes in also as they’re moving very slowly here.

They slug it out with everything they’ve got left, which to be fair isn’t much at this point. Hawk takes over for the most part but Tama gets a horrible suplex. Both guys no sell more or less everything but Hawk gets a pretty impressive dropkick for two. There’s talk of a wrestle off if the Samoans and Steiners tie. The clock starts getting all screwy again as you would expect.

Animal hammers away as Ross thinks they might be a little tired. GEE YOU THINK JIM??? Animal runs into Tama as Tama attempts a backdrop, only for Fatu to chop him down with relative ease. Fatu slams Animal but a middle rope splash misses and it’s hot tag to Hawk. Surprisingly enough he has a lot of energy remaining. Everything breaks down and Hawk gets a top rope clothesline on Tama for the pin and the tournament.

Rating: D. Just a power match here and nothing special in the slightest. Both teams were spent beyond belief and the sloppiness can partially be based on that. It takes a lot of energy out of you to get up and start a match, which explains a lot of the lack of energy here. Not very good but it’s done at least.

Road Warriors – 40 (Three matches)
Steiners – 35 (Three matches)
Samoans – 30 (Three matches)
Doom – 0 (Three matches)

Sting vs. Ric Flair

Both are Horsemen here actually and I guess Flair has been a face for this show? I actually had forgotten about that and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. Flair can win on a pin, submission or countout or tie Luger with a DQ. Sting wins with a pin or submission and Luger wins with anything else. This is all we have left on the show. Sting has fresh face paint now. The announcer is WAY too excited that Flair is a six time champion, more or less orgasming on every announcement of it.

They stare it down and shake hands before locking up. Sting grabs a headlock as the amount of empty seats (all red) is freaking embarrassing at this point. They stall a lot as nothing of note is going on at this point. Wrestling sequence goes to Sting as he works on the legs a bit. Ok make that the arm. A lot of stalling here as they’re pretty clearly going to the end of the clock.

Sting wins a top wristlock as it’s another stalemate. They speed things WAY up with Sting hitting a gorilla press and shoving Flair down as he hits the floor. Backslide gets two for Sting but he walks into a hard chop and it’s off to Flair. Out to the floor with Sting being thrown into the railing again. Naturally Flair is the heel by default in this one because Sting can’t really work heel due to the fans not letting him.

Back in and Flair gets a suplex for two. Knee drop hits and Sting is in trouble. A rollup out of an abdominal stretch gets two. Flair starts trying to steal a quick win which doesn’t really work. Butterfly suplex gets two. Sting gets a clothesline out of nowhere for two and we head to the floor again. Sting Stings Up and the chops do nothing. He suplexes Flair back in with four minutes to go.

Sting pounds away in the corner as the fans finally wake up with 8 minutes left in the show. Clothesline gets two and sets up the Splash and then the Scorpion, but Flair is in the ropes before it gets cinched in. Flair gets the knee crusher and there’s the Figure Four. Sting gets to the ropes but his knee is hurt. Pinfall reversal sequence gets Sting a backslide for two.

One minute left and Flair goes in for the kill. Another knee crusher hits and the painted one is in trouble. He doesn’t go for the Figure Four just yet but cannonballs down onto the knee again instead. Thirty seconds left and Flair wastes a lot of time. Figure Four attempt but Sting grabs a small package to get the pin and the tournament. He would get a title shot at WrestleWar for this but would get thrown out of the Horsemen for not dropping it. Then he would shred his knee and miss about four months. Oh well.

Rating: B. It’s Sting vs. Flair in the late 80s. Do you really think this isn’t going to be good? This would have been better to have go about thirty minutes total instead of most of this nonsense but you can’t have everything. Not quite Clash of the Champions but still pretty good, especially considering what they had to do.

Sting – 40 (Three matches)
Luger – 35 (Three matches)
Flair – 25 (Three matches)
Muta – 0 (Three matches)

The Road Warriors say they’re Iron Men and the Solie cuts them off.

Sting and Flair talk a bit AS THE CREDITS ROLL. Literally, Flair praising Sting is covered by credits and Sting doesn’t even get to talk. Wow indeed.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time but after about half of this I was begging for this to be over. That shouldn’t happen on a PPV, at least not more than once. This was the seventh time they had Starrcade too, so it’s not like they didn’t have any idea what to do with it. I have no idea what they were thinking here. Even a weak card would have been better than this.

The problems here are the same ones I’ve gone over already. First and foremost though, this is WAY too repetitive. We saw a total of 12 guys wrestle tonight. I mean dude, cut something out of there and give us something else just to give us a breath of air. Absolutely awful stuff here and a complete failure from every angle. The wrestling is ok at best with only one or two matches having good finishes. Next year was ANOTHER tournament, although thankfully a regular one, followed by two years of Battlebowl. How could they screw this up so badly? Whatever. At least it’s done. Don’t watch this as it’s just awful.

Oh and one more thing: with 12 people on this show and a total of 12 matches, the two black guys and the Japanese guy both lose every match they’re in. Probably wasn’t anything intentional, but dang it looks bad, much like the rest of this show.

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